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Elsewhere, or Further (EP)

by Francis Larson

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1.
Invite Me In 05:01
Saint Francis are you with me? I am knocking at your door. Something in me’s screaming but I’m not sure what the hell for. I’ve got bruises in the morning from I can’t remember when. Shannon’s out in New Orleans and I am gone again. Oh, the girl’s in New Orleans and I am gone again. I kept dreaming about winter in kedves Debrecen. I fly out tomorrow, gonna walk its streets by 10. ‘Cause after “give it a rest, you don’t impress” sent shivers through my bones. Heni’s there to numb the pain so I don’t feel alone. I got friends east of central Spain— I know I’m not alone. But I won’t last forever, so remind to say amen. I’m barely north of breaking, begging for someone to spare my sins. There’s a prayer I used to know by heart, but I was younger then. Oh, Maria—invite me in. Oh, Maria—invite me in. Don’t think I have forgotten your voice so carefree singing “Bright Lights” through my phone slightly off key. You went from LA to Santa Fe and then to NYC, but you never did drive back through here or what you promised me. No, you never did follow through on what you promised me. No. And there’s only so much heartache I can take on the chin. One day I'll just cash it in and get drunk off bathtub gin. Then row me out to the southern coast of my discontent. The water’s freezing but I’m gonna jump on in Don’t try to stop me, honey, I’m gonna jump on in. No I won’t last forever, remind to say amen. I’m barely north of breaking, and no one’s gonna spare my sins. There’s a prayer I used to know by heart but I was younger then. Oh, Maria—invite me in. Oh, Maria—invite me in. Invite me in. Oh Maria, invite me in. What I gain from sorrow keeps the art alive. Anna’s spinning Counting Crows, I’m just trying not to cry. I got pills I take each evening but my head feels heavy then. These pills feel like a prison, built for mass consumption. It takes strength and all that I am not to crumble from within. I know that I won’t last forever, so I sure as shit better say amen Staring down the gates of heaven, shouting “I’d rather live in sin.” That prayer I could recite by heart it only helped me way back when. Oh, Maria—invite me in. Oh, Maria—invite me in. Oh, Maria—invite me in. Oh, Maria.
2.
Say it out loud. Say it now. Don't make it harder. Don't try to disavow what you brought about when you went out of town. Just give me a week to pull myself together somehow. Then I'm packing up, heading down to Tucson or even further south where I'll be alone but I won't be without. If I don't find the sun in Mexico Then I'll just keep this show on the road. At least there I know I'm home. I ain't the one you can fall back on When that boy lets you down When winter ends and he's gone And you remember the dawns we shared. The laughing in bed, going nowhere In a time and place that you have made foregone. By then I'll be far, heading down To Tucson or even further south Where I'll be alone but I won't be without. If I don't find the sun in Mexico I'll just keep this show on the road. At least there I know I'm home. Just to state my case: I never lied. I only gave and gave and gave. So it's me that'll be hard for you to replace. And I'll leave this song along the way So later as my steps you try to retrace You'll know the trail will go cold before you can even see my face. Cause I'm south of the border, out of reach. No longer tied up on your leash. Relieved and free on the road alone. Relieved and free on the road alone. Relieved and free on the road alone.
3.
Elsewhere 04:18
At a kitchen table I’ll let them go— all the tears I told you I didn’t hold. And I’ll stain these placemats with my woes As I think of the year I spent alone. Awake all night, my dreams have fled. Lonesome thoughts fill my mind instead And I’ll waste the day in this cursed bed Imagining words you left unsaid. Spring’s below me, yet here I lay. Further north I’ll be, though I still ache. Elsewhere my heart is just okay At home on some other street, maybe, far away. I can’t leave, but I don’t want to stay. Should I believe in fate or no? Will you return in a month or so? A promise I’ll keep, though I don’t know If a heart can heal such a gaping hole. Spring’s below me, yet here I lay. Further north I’ll be, though I still ache. Elsewhere my heart is just okay At home on some other street, maybe, far away. I can’t leave, but I don’t want to stay. While I wait or not for you will I finally see the truth? In another’s arms would I be less blue Or am I meant to be with you? Or am I meant to be with you? Spring’s below me, yet here I lay. Further north I’ll be, though I still ache. Elsewhere my heart is just okay At home on some other street, maybe, far away. So, tell me, cause I don’t want to stay Will you be back for me some day? Or should I just walk away? Should I walk away? Should I just walk away? Mmm?

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released September 30, 2022

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Francis Larson Tucson, Arizona

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