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Bandit of No Delight

from Drifter by Francis Larson

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lyrics

Another song from my weakened heart.
I’ll write it out, no one will hear it.
Surely nothing more than a lesser work of art.
We’ll all just ignore it.

Jesus I know this dispiriting road.
So often I traveled it alone
Stumbling on every stone.
Mud on my hands, dirt in my eyes,
I hear the same advice.
But how many times can I try?

I’m giving in and that’s alright.
I’ll take myself home and turn off the lights.
Tell no one “I’m sorry” as I give up the fight.
It ain’t worth it.
I’ll sing these sad songs into the night—
An erstwhile bandit of no delight.
I stole no hearts, though I tried.
I’m out of excuses for falling behind.

Is there nothing I can have to hold?
I am searching in the dark.
My beauty is fading & I’m nowhere close to old,
But bit by bit I’ve fallen apart.

Jesus I know this dispiriting road.
So often I traveled it alone
Stumbling on every stone.
Mud on my hands, dirt in my eyes,
I hear the same advice.
But how many times can I try?

I’m giving in and that’s alright.
I’ll take myself home and turn off the lights.
Tell no one “I’m sorry” as I give up the fight.
It ain’t worth it.
I’ll sing these sad songs into the night—
An erstwhile bandit of no delight.
I stole no hearts, though I tried.
It ain’t worth it.

I just want it to end, to retire
and throw laughter & comfort & love on the pyre.
But I lack the strength that is required—
It ain’t worth it.
Don’t say “it takes time” or “feign a smile,”
Just let me grieve and lay here a while—
Jaded and broken from years of denial.
Oh, I’ll fall behind.

I fall behind.
I fall behind,
An erstwhile bandit of no delight.
I stole no hearts, though I tried.
I ain’t worth it.

credits

from Drifter, released September 9, 2020

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Francis Larson Tucson, Arizona

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